Campy Crystal Lake Mess Hall: Today's Menu
We’ve all been there. You’re hosting a Friday the 13th marathon this weekend, but you totally forgot to grab the themed snacks. Baskin-Robbins is notoriously light on the Jason-themed ice cream cakes, and that shitty co-worker never did return the machete-shaped cookie cutters he borrowed last October. But don’t stress. Let’s all take a deep breath and keep it final girl, Ghastly Grinning has got you covered. Based on characters and foods featured in the beloved Friday the 13th franchise, we’ve got an easy horror spread you’ll be able to slash through in no time.
Start your guests off right with this tangy aperitif based on the tastes of bounty hunter Creighton Duke from Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday. Mix equal parts gin and lemonade with gently muddled cigarillo ash and brim sweat, serve over ice in a tall glass, and garnish with a slightly wilted lemon slice. The perfect cocktail to stare at during your whispered Jason soliloquies.
It’s not a movie marathon without popcorn, and your guests will dig this radical appetizer based on the tastes of hippie Chuck from Friday the 13 Part III. Inconsistently popped and crazily under-seasoned, this barely tolerable snack is fully legitimized by the burned kernels and stray beard hairs scattered throughout. Serve in an enormous metal soup pan.
Blistered to within an inch of their lives and served ungarnished on paper plates, these dry, sinewy wieners are based on the tastes of future hipster Ted from Friday the 13th Part II. To help your guests relive this classic moment from the film, be sure to shout ‘Come and get ‘em!’ in your most annoyingly feisty Brooklyn accent.
Kevin Bacon Burgers
Moments before Kevin Bacon gets a post-coital arrow through the larynx in Friday the 13th, he’s spotted authoritatively poking burgers around a cast iron grill. As host, it’s important to capture that supercool Bacon vibe early in your marathon, and there’s no better way than with these burned yet bloody burgers. ‘Who likes ‘em rare?’, indeed.
Your guests will love dessert, an assortment of half-eaten, slightly melted chocolate bars, based on the tastes of mental patient Joey from Friday the 13th: A New Beginning, who foists the damp treat on myriad characters before his somewhat welcome murder. Save any spare chocolate for finger smearing in case a spontaneous game of ‘Joey Tag’ breaks out between films.