Horror Sommelier: November 10, 2017

Every week join Brennan Klein, your horror sommelier, as he runs through the upcoming theatrical releases and pairs them with the perfect horror film for a killer double feature.




Directed by: Sean Anders
Starring: Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, John Cena, John Lithgow, Mel Gibson

Rating: PG-13
Run Time: 1 hour 40 minutes

Synopsis: Father and stepfather Dusty and Brad join forces to make Christmastime perfect for the children. Their newfound partnership soon gets put to the test when Dusty's old-school, macho dad and Brad's gentle father arrive to turn the holiday upside down.




While almost nothing could be more horrifying than the fact that we’re at a place in our culture where it’s suddenly OK for Mel Gibson to be in a family comedy, there is one thing that trumps that, and it’s Wes Craven’s debut film The Last House on the Left. A sickening grindhouse treatise against violence, it is the tale of two young women who are raped and murdered and the bloody revenge one set of parents takes on the gang of criminals who did it. Wes Craven explores one of his favorite themes – the dark side of suburbia – by pitting two mirror-image families together, and it’s completely unforgettable what happens when Mr. Collingwood, the good father, is pitted against Krug, the very very bad father played by the inimitable David Hess. The outcome of these daddies battling it out is probably grimmer than Daddy's Home 2, but one can only hope that that film ends with gruesome bloodshed.




Directed by: Kenneth Branagh
Starring: Kenneth Branagh, Johnny Depp, Daisy Ridley, Josh Gad, Michelle Pfeiffer, Judi Dench, Penélope Cruz, Willem Dafoe

Rating: PG-13
Run Time: 1 hour 54 minutes

Synopsis: A lavish trip through Europe quickly unfolds into a race against time to solve a murder aboard a train. Everyone's a suspect when Detective Hercule Poirot arrives to interrogate all passengers and search for clues before the killer can strike again.


Pairing: TERROR TRAIN (1980)


Was this decision way too easy? Of course, but as far as murderizing people on trains goes, you should look no further than the New Year’s Eve slasher Terror Train, starring Jamie Lee Curtis, Oscar winner Ben Johnson, David Copperfield, and a bunch of Canadians. Set over the course of a fraternity party on a train going nowhere in particular, Terror Train has a playful atmosphere that combines a million costume changes, close-up magic, and an epic twist into a delectable slasher confection. Although gorehounds will be a bit disappointed by the bloodless kills, you can’t miss this early Jamie Lee entry.




Directed by: Martin McDonagh
Starring: Frances McDormand, Woody Harrelson, Sam Rockwell

Rating: R
Run Time: 1 hour 55 minutes

Synopsis: After months have passed without a culprit in her daughter's murder case, Mildred Hayes makes a bold move, painting three signs leading into her town with a controversial message directed at William Willoughby, the town's revered chief of police. When his second-in-command, Officer Dixon -- an immature mother's boy with a penchant for violence -- gets involved, the battle is only exacerbated.


Pairing: THEY LIVE (1988)


If you still haven’t lost every shred of faith in societal institutions by the end of Three Billboards, why not throw on John Carpenter’s yuppie-era satire They Live? This sci-fi throwback positions the upper classes as a race of aliens in disguise who use subliminal messaging to control the human populace and keep them under their boots. One man with special sunglasses that allow him to see the truth must find out who he can trust to help him take down this extraterrestrial menace. Hint: It sure ain’t the police.

ColumnsBrennan Klein